Dear Beautiful,
There are three basic attachment styles in relationships: anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and secure attachment. Many are able to perceive these tendencies in relationship with others, but it's equally important to expand our awareness to see what kind of relationship we are building with the Universe. Through a clear view, two of these attachment styles depict the opposite extremes of ego, while the healthy secure attachment exists as a natural attribute of the soul. Let’s take a deeper look.
As an essential step forward along your path, it is important to realize it is the spiritual ego that attempts to bypass discomfort, as well as the one engaging in the endless digging of self-analysis. It’s the ego on both sides, whether bypassing as a vacation from endless inner-digging, or engaging in inner-digging as a way of course-correcting the tendency to bypass discomfort.
The spiritual ego has two fundamental sides: one side is the anxious attachment of the spiritual ego. It often plays out a co-dependent relationship with the Universe through endless inner work -- imagining it will attract less than it desires or being afraid of losing all it has gained, including any form of spiritual status such as judgments of high or low vibration, if it were to end the rigorous self-analysis that it fears will upset a wrathful ego God-like concept it imagines looming above it.
The other side is the avoidant attachment of the spiritual ego. It is where patterns of deflection, addiction, bypassing, and avoidance remain active whether as a protest against the exhaustive busy work it condemns itself into doing, or as a means to seek relief from the painful emotions it cannot manipulate, outwit, or control.
Within the extremes of the anxious and avoidant attachments of the spiritual ego exists the secure attachment style. This belongs to the light of your soul. It is not one extreme or another, or the tendency to rush back and forth between anxiousness or avoidance.
The secure attachment style of the soul exists in the middle. It's often referred to as the Middle Way. It is where no emotion is too difficult to face when honored in oneness as aspects of your own evolving divinity -- while also never confusing exhaustive inner self-analysis with the process of getting to know yourself as the unconditional love you’ve always looked for in other people, places, and things. Just as a secure attachment style in relationship allows for a perfect blend of being present with your partner while also respecting each other's need for space to rejuvenate and connect within themselves, the secure attachment your soul intrinsically has with the Universe is neither fear-based, rooted in the dogma of interpretations of reward and punishment, nor does it inspire the anxiousness or avoidance that exists within the ego’s fantasy of perception, where it attempts to impersonate the very Source it has no idea it is one with until it is integrated back into the light throughout the journey of awakening.
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