5 Taoist teachings to curb toxic people

Wednesday, January 10, 2018 

5 Taoist teachings to curb toxic people



can all become toxic on occasion. However, there areparticularly difficult people trying to manipulate, dominate or humiliate others. These people make us feel bad, contagiándonos their negativity. Since we can not always get away from them, sometimes we have no choice but to raise a shield to protect usfrom its influence. 


In such cases, Taoism gives us valuable lessons to fill our bag of tools for life. Taoism is a philosophical system that encourages us to get rid of conventional thought patterns to learn to live more balanced and serene way, achieving our goals with the least effort.


You protect yourself from difficult people using the wisdom of Lao Tzu 


1. It flows without resistance


In Taoism often it uses the analogy of the river to explain how we can live with less stress and conflict.The idea is simple: learn to flow like a river, naturally and without resistance. The idea of confrontation, struggle and resistance are opposed to that harmony.


Lao Tzu's phrase sums up this concept: "if you do not give your enemy is nothing to oppose, just disappear."This means that it is not worth engaging in discussions that will only serve as fuel for the person seeking to destabilize us . In fact, in psychology there is what is known as "extinction principle", according to which those behaviors that no attention now , will tend to disappear. 


That does not mean that we should allow avasallen we only encourages us to be wise enough not to feed the storm, letting the water back on level naturally.Sometimes ignore someone is the best way to avoid new conflicts. 


2. Keep serenity


"The whole universe surrenders to the mind stands still , " said Lao Tzu. It is important to be aware that in many cases the toxic people hurt us because we give you the power to do so, let your words and attitudes make emotional resonance within us. 


These people affect us because we react automatically to their nasty comments, letting tighten our "red buttons". But if we learn to stay calm and breathe deeply, let go those first emotional reactions, emptying ourselves of emotions such as anger, bitterness and bad humor.


It can help to imagine that your mind is like a house.It is important to leave open the windows to let air circulate. If we close the windows, the air will thin and can not follow its natural flow. Thoughts and emotions are the same, if not cling to them, they will go as it came. 


3. Respond intelligently


One of the tips Lao Tzu wisest is, "responds intelligently even to unintelligent treatment." It is essential that we do not put the level of toxic people trying to manipulate or emotionally destabilize us . It does not respond to attacks with another attack because violence, though well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.


Remember that the best fighter is one who is angry, which is able to control your emotions and instead of react, respond intelligently, rationally assess the situation and weighing the pros and cons. 


When you simply react, you're ceding control the other person, letting dictate your answers. Instead, respond intelligently means taking control of the situation and decide which way you want to go. 


4. Disconnects


Lao Tzu said , "Worry about what others think and willalways be their prisoner." He meant that we become "prisoners" of toxic people often because we still mulling over his words and attitudes.


These people usually specialize in finding our sensitive points and know how to play them to cause damage or destabilize. When we are not able to disconnect from that situation and we keep going around in our minds, we deliver on a silver platter. 


So to deal with toxic people is essential to learn to disconnect and not give your words or attitudes more importance than they deserve. 


5. Be as bamboo


Another natural elements that inspired many Taoist parables is bamboo. Lao Tzu said "weak and tender overcome the hard and strong." He meant that there are times when we need the strength of bamboo to face the attacks of those around us. Bamboo is flexible enough to bend to the wind, a flexibility that allows you to suffer less damage than a tree firmly trunk, but at the same time, this flexibility allows you to take force after it has been bent to get back into position original.


This simile stresses the importance of developing inner strength and resilience, our ability to emerge stronger from adversity and even use the attacks of others in our favor. Sometimes fall back is not bad nor is it a sign of weakness, but allows us to take the time we need to reflect and respond with the strength that lies in the serenity. 




Psychology / Jennifer Delgado