Painful rejection

One of the most painful experiences in a  lifetime might be feelings of rejection. It is recognizable in many different psychic layers and it has the power to properly ruin a person’s mood. This kind of emotional abuse has deep roots. I speak from experience.

After infinite conversations with healers in the past, after different rebirthings, after peeling off so many layers of pain, after deleting and working through past emotional abuses I still notice rejection is able to open (invisible) deep wounds, triggered by the outside world at unexpected moments. From time to time I still am confronted with those painful heartbreaking feelings. Believe me, they hurt.

Rejection has its roots by the experience of a vulnerable young child being confronted with his so called 'unwanted' behavior, that bystanders (parents, acquaintances) reject and point out.  It’s all about their personal unprocessed blockages they recognize in the child’s behavior they can’t deal with. They response in projecting their unsolved pain in the child. This can lead to (sexual/emotional) abuse, neglect and complete rejection in extreme situations.

The child doesn’t understand those signs and  tries to response in a ‘correct’ way, trying to please and to be loved again by accepting this rejection, doing his utmost best to behave correctly and cooperate in everything that happens to get back in the ‘loving’ favor of the adult. The child learns to fight for positive attention whereby he ignores his emotional and sometimes physical limits. Deep emotional wounds are created in the child's consciousness.

That’s the crucial point where child-openness changes into a withdrawn behavior, in inner pain, in not understanding and finally involuntarily adjusting the child’s  behavior in favor of the 'positive' adult’s attention. This is the moment when the child starts to supplant pain, hiding in his subconscious. The child's consciousness is programmed with the idea of adapting, subordinating to the wishes of the adult in favor of his own well-being, his own crucial survival.

Years later, finally being able to acknowledge this inappropriate improper behavior, this unconscious sharp emotional bomb, will explode immediately in similar situations when ‘old’ patterns are recognized.  The subconscious activates immediately to prevent painful remembrances that have been hide away carefully.

The solution for this life-time unexpectedly recurring painful behavior is to fully accept the pain. When you have the possibility to sit down in silence in private, connect with the pain and feel this energy circulating in your body, I encourage you to do so. Feel the sadness, accept your tears, be outrageous angry, hit a pillow, shout the wallpaper until it drops of the walls or shout your anger from the roofs. Let it  free this lifelong hidden and neglected suppressed pain. Open yourself to let It go.

That is for me the ultimate possibility to free myself from the inevitable painful decisions I made in my childhood.

🙏